Posted in Health & Wellbeing, Journal

Willpower Recharged

Image by artistlike from Pixabay

I start the day with a low calorie breakfast. Lunch consists of soup, salad, sandwiches. By mid afternoon I stave off the munchies with an apple, even a banana if getting desperate. Willpower is chomping at the bit by evening meal, but I limit fat and carbs. An hour later it all goes wrong. Out come the biscuits, chocolate and crisps. Bread popping out of the toaster, scoffed dripping in butter. Cereal and yoghurts to offset the junk food, too late damage done.

This was my dietry habit and I was sneaky with it: I would lie to my fellow weight lossers. So the lbs stayed the same or steadily increased, leading me recently to salute the weight loss success stories. They deserve a shake of the hand a slap on the back, after all I can’t do it.

So 2019 bid farewell with a chinese takeaway and an explosion of colour. 2020 awoke to the air thick with sulphur, coal and potassium nitrate. I don’t make resolutions. Don’t want to clutter the crisp blank page of a new year, new diary. But I am returning to my diet I whisper. This time with a few changes: strict calorie counting, weighing ingredients and writing everything consumed down (nothing left off).

White female, almost 41, 5″2 and moderately active, weighing in at 14st 7lbs I am clinically obesse. My recommended daily calorie intake is 1,596 – 2,053 kcals, sticking to the lower end of the scale to lose 1-2lbs a week. Yes folks I have been doing it. Strict and honest I have been averaging 1,400kcals a day. Then yesterday something went wrong. I was going strong until evening dinner. Then a bag of munchies, giant hula hoops and two mint clubs were consumed before bed. Old habits resume. No wait! I lie in bed, my stomach bloated growling like an angry grizzly, my chest is on fire burping up acid. I feel sick.

How much weight I lose is almost irrelevant, until that evening I was already feeling healthier. For the first time I experienced the benefits, consequences of falling off the wagon. Last night I tossed and turned struggling to sleep, but with a smile on my face. This morning healthy eating resumes, with low fat natural yoghurt and fruit for breakfast.

So once more congratulations to the success stories. And to those like me, embarking on the journey “keep going. We can do it”.


A professional and creative writing graduate and proofreader. Hobbies include: reading, writing, walking, cycling, theatre, cooking, baking, arts, crafts and culture. An avid volunteer within the arts sector and supporter of improving mental health. Favourite quote: creativity is contagious passion. (Einstein)

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